10.15

One year ago today, my grandfather died. These past few days I've been busy and stressed with midterms -- and a year ago, it was the same way -- until I got that phone call. That was when my stress was pushed towards something else.

I still remember the details -- the phone calls I got, the feeling of my heart sinking. Having those three days blur, the funeral, and the weeks, even months after.

Sometimes it's still hard to believe that he's gone. It's always kind of a shock to see his name on the headstone that for so many years had only my grandmother's. Sometimes I forget that he's gone, and I have to stop and remind myself that he won't be there to say hello to when I visit my aunt's house.

Lately I've been feeling like I've been re-living some of it with D. And even though it's hard to remember, I'm glad that I do, because I certainly don't want to forget him.