quiet Friday morning...

Suddenly there's this great influx of entries from me, isn't there? Well..."great," I guess. I'm not sure why I feel like blogging all the time, especially when I wasn't doing so for so long. I guess there's a part of me that feels like talking now...especially in these dull silences.

My stomach ache is now only half here. Maybe it's because I finished my paper last night. Really fast, too, about 9 p.m. And here I was thinking that I'd have to pull an all-nighter to get it done. Damon said he liked it. :) But he's always nice to me. :)

Is it just me or is everyone between the ages of 18 and 21 getting engaged? A few years ago I would've thought that your senior year of college meant graduating and finding a job, not getting a ring and getting married. But in the last four years I suppose my philosophy has changed quite a bit. I know I scare Damy a lot because I'm always talking about getting married. It's not that I'm trying to spook him, but I guess it comes out that way a lot. The truth is, I think all my life the only real thing I've wanted to accomplish is to fall in love. That, and to be a mother. Everything else is extraneous. And I guess I just feel so excited at the prospect of actually having that; I'm eager to start it. It's like..if all your life the only thing you've wanted is that one pair of shoes -- and you pass a store and you step in and they have them; and in your size; and they fit wonderfully and they're even more gorgeous than you'd ever imagined they would be -- you'd jump at the chance to buy them, right? Even if it meant putting it on your credit card and not knowing whether you had the money in your account to buy them -- you would, because it's the only thing you've ever wanted. .....Am I making any sense?

You'll have to excuse me, I haven't had my morning coffee yet. But yeah. So my stomach ache is almost gone. I took a practice GRE test yesterday which went surprisingly quickly. My practice score wasn't so bad so I'm hoping that I'll do as decently (or better) on Saturday. Sh*t that's tomorrow! Aghh... -___-

I was so happy to see the sun yesterday -- to see the blue skies and feel the toasty warm. It's nice to be reminded that we live in California every once and a while, you know? Especially since I've really been feeling the grayness of the rain lately. Not all the time, mind you. It's just this really dreary kind of cloudy underlayer. I've been having serious weight issues I think. Looking in the mirror is painful. About 100 times a day I have to question what it would be like to be in a smaller body. How much skinnier I could be if I skipped that next meal. I've been trying to be good, too. I was running before the rain storms started, andI even did yoga the other day. And I stopped eating anything with preservatives, oils, sugars, chemicals, etc. I'm eating like, super whole grain bread and dried cranberries and vegetables and salads. And you know what? Instead of feeling better, I feel worse. I'm constantly having these aches in my stomach and horrible waves of nausea. I always feel like there's something stuck in my throat that's screaming to get out and it makes me sick. I wonder if it's still from last weekend @ the Yardhouse... :|

Ok...I'm going to stop this mindless rambling now because I realize no one wants to read it. I suppose I'll go read a book. Have a nice day and let's all sing for Mr. Sun Mr. Golden Sun to come out. :)