Life Planning
All this wedding planning, home searching, and consulting with everyone is really starting to bring me down. I never realized how emotional all of this would be -- although I guess it makes sense, seeing as how these are the first really big "adult" decisions I've had to make. Damon and I have had to sit down and have so many serious talks. So much disagreement. And so many tears. All because of these decisions.
I think the most disheartening part of it all is the house-hunting. Or lack thereof. It's funny how even just 6 months ago I thought we were all set to make a smooth transition into being homeowners. And now seeing all of that vaporize into nothing...I suppose I was just too naive to realize what our real status is. I feel like we're so close but all these bumps in the road keep popping up. Dad's losing his job. My credit card company threw my good credit score out the window. Plans fall through. I find myself even regretting decisions I made YEARS ago -- if I hadn't gone to USC, would I be in a house now? If we hadn't gotten engaged...if I hadn't pushed...if if if if if.
And now I'm just regretting a lot of things. Including the wedding. I feel so guilty making plans to spend all this money on a wedding when we've got a down payment to think about. I wish I could take everything back -- all those deposits, the order for the dress, the contracts. I wish I hadn't gone to school. Or at least THAT school. How much could I have saved? How much further would we be if it wasn't for those decisions? And how are the decisions I'm making now going to hurt us in another five, ten years? Am I going to regret this wedding if we have it? Will I regret it if I don't?
I know that we're having a hard time right now because we're meant to be. We're having trouble finding a house because that's God's plan. Right? But I still can't help that I'm jealous -- jealous of all those people who find their money so easily. Who get help without looking for it. Jealous of stupid Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes who bought a 35 MILLION dollar house, just like that and Damon and I are just hoping, praying to get into anything.
Like I said, it's an emotional time right now. And now that I'm on break, there's a lot of time for me to think. And dwell on things. Mull over things.
Someone needs to give me something else to think about or do...
posted by saraphin @ 7:42 PM
7 Comments:
do you really think things would be that different if you had made certain different choices? sure.
but things have happened the way they have because they were meant for you to go through. everyone has to make tough decisions.
what ifs will just keep on adding up, you need to look on the bright side of things.
maybe your househunting plan was a bit shortsighted? who knows. the important thing is that you and damon together will have a home, regardless of where you live. i know it's a tough choice. i read all the time that you shouldn't spend more than 2.5x your gross income on a house. where can anyone even find a house for 300k or less that leaves you feeling 'safe'?
maybe the better thing to do is to think 'when' instead of 'if'. have a positive outlook. when you guys are married, when you guys are in your home.
what ifs are an unnecessary burden. you cannot change the past, so live in the present.
take care,
-irv
You're right. No point in stressing over things that I can't change anymore anyway.
Thanks for the positive outlook :)
Thanks Irv. That means a lot.
=)
my dear, i believe that if you didn't have the wedding you'd regret it for the rest of your life. after all, you will probably never have another chance to have one!
you'll get over this financial hump somehow. if all else fails, rent rent rent! maybe for a year or so. it's a feasible backup plan, and even though paying rent is kind of tossing money away, it is very possible to save and rent at the same time and may make things a bit less stressful when it does come time to buy.
(don't take financial advice from me, though because i don't really know anything about finances. or real estate, for that matter)
Now I know who to go to whenever I need advice in multi-tasking in life, buying a house, managing finances, etc.
You and Damo are both very strong-willed individuals. You have the respect of a lot of people, including mine.
Please let us know if there's anything we can do.
~Derek.
Ahhh...Sara regretting her wedding? Please, girl...we know you finished planning it when you were 7.
Everything is going to be okay, God has a funny way of working things out. The important thing is that you and Damon are going to be together, and you have your family! Not to mention, wonderful friends, and good health. Things could be MUCH worse.
Hang in there...try to keep busy so you don't dwell on things!
w/<3 from your pesky sister...
Annie :)
"Please, girl...we know you finished planning it when you were 7."
ahahah
so true
which is exactly why you should have one
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