Saturday, May 08, 2010

I've been feeling pretty awful lately. The current state of my job has really gotten to me - realizing that I have no idea what I will be doing in a few months while everyone around me is busy making plans for next year puts a pit in my stomach. Being the only person out of the four people who applied to the new school that didn't get a call back makes me feel disappointed and terrified at the prospect of being unemployed. Searching pages on pages of job openings and not finding anything makes me feel worthless and hopeless.

The district failed to issue me a paycheck on payday, we're still getting the runaround on our refrigerator.....little things that normally wouldn't bother me make me feel like the universe is against me and I've done something awful to attract bad karma.

I know I'm not the only one in this boat, and I know that despite a bleak outlook on the job market, I still have a *ton* to be grateful for, but I can't shake myself out of this funk. I can't control the tears that come when I drive home after putting on a happy face all day at work, or when I open my email to find it empty of an offer for an interview. At quiet moments during the day like today, I feel the knots in my stomach start to swell and the tears starting to collect in my eyes and I pray with my whole heart that things start to turn around.


At 8:46 AM, Blogger Damy said...

I love you, sweetie. I will always do my best to be there for you. Things will turn around. They always do :)


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