It's amazing what this wedding has done to me. It's made me sick to my stomach nervous, and at the same time, heart wrenchingly happy.
Honestly, though, the stress of this event has really messed me up. I don't know why I'm putting so much on the wedding - I guess I just really want things to be perfect; for everyone to have a good time, and to do as much for our guests as possible to make them comfortable and happy. But this whole process has just been so emotional that it's starting to take it's toll.
Yesterday Damon and I were running late for our meeting with our coordinator and I was SO stressed out about it that it turned into an all-out screaming, crying, yelling match in the car. We've NEVER fought like that before -- EVER. I honestly think I just had a nervous breakdown. I don't remember the last time I cried so hard. And I felt awful. I know he did, too. What is this stress doing to me? It shouldn't be like that.
What I really need is more of me. One Sara that can stay home to finish the seating chart. One Sara that can stop by the store to look for a lasso. One Sara that can go to Long Beach to get the ribbon. One Sara that can kick back and just enjoy the last week before getting married. One Sara that can run to get the frames for the pictures. One Sara to get the lists together for the coordinator.
There is just.too.much.to.do.