February 12, 2012

It's been nearly 2 months since we lost our little one, and although life has seemingly gone back to "normal," I still feel like I'm holding all my tears at the back of my throat, ready to lost it at any given moment.

I thought I'd be much better by now.  I thought I'd be more positive, happy, and accepting of what had happened and the possibilities of the future.  Instead, I'm angry, bitter, and resentful that we're exactly where we were 6 weeks ago.  Without a little one, and with no possibility of having one any time soon.

I'm so tired of feeling sad.  I'm tired of choking back tears when I see reminders of what we had, tired of being angry at people who don't understand, and tired of feeling guilty for being sad.  I just want to be happy again.  How long is that going to take?