November 13, 2011

Dear Sweet Pea,

         We just found out about you last night.  I've been noticing more nausea lately than I had expected, so I tested, just to see what would happen.  I could hardly believe the 2 lines that I saw on the test. Your Daddy and I have been waiting for those 2 lines for such a long time, and we've been disappointed so many times before, that we were starting to think you might never come around.  But there it was - 2 lines!  I ran out to your Daddy in the living room and we both hugged and cried.   I was in such disbelief that I tried again a few hours later, just to make sure.   And again this morning, to be sure I was still pregnant.  Pregnant!  I never thought I'd be able to say those words, but I.am.pregnant!

        The only other person who knows is your Auntie Hollie.  I had to call her right away because I'm so scared that we might lose you -- and if we lose you, I know I'm going to need her to help me get through that.  We're too scared to celebrate just yet, and I'm trying hard not to let myself get to attached to you -- what if you disappear?  But Sweet Pea, I couldn't sleep last night thinking about how lucky we would be to have you.  If you make it, by this time next year we'll have a 4 month old!  I wonder if you'll be a girl or a boy.  I wonder how big you are right now.  I'm praying my hardest that you'll make it, Sweet Pea. I promise I'll take good care of you,  just please, hang on tight!  Your Daddy and I want nothing more than to see you and have you as part of our family.  We've been waiting so long for you!

Love, 

Mommy